07.09.11

The burning pixels instigate
painful blindness and headache.
The more I make the worse the day
I play like god on the display
that sits before my dying eyes,
disguising messy in design
I pine to be in other worlds
where distance permits my eyes to rest.
But here I test the limits of
my mental state. I push and shove
the elements before my eyes
and once again I realise
that burning pixels instigate
the painful blindness and headache.
The more I make the worse the day
I play like god on the display
that sits before my dying eyes,
disguising messy in design.

07.08.20

And then
once again
In a fraction of a second
I can see behind the mends
that I have made up in my head.
All is said
So much dread
As I lay there in my bed my mind is
racing through the theories
marking everything in red

I thought this time was different
and I thought I really meant the things
I wanted to achieve but once again
I just deceive
my self
on the shelf
is a dusty book I used to know
but there it lies, it goes to show
my dedication's at a low

And I stare
It's right here
I can see the shadows glaring
through my intricately fabricated
mask that I've been wearing
I was daring
I've been sharing
bearing and comparing
I was wearing non-emotion
but inside I kept on tearing up the
shreads and broken pieces,
Toxins seep into the creases
and they keep me from achieving
and my other side from leaving
I'm bleeding
needing
and feeding of the waste that keeps on
leading me to continue with this
detrimental seeding

As I sit
death grip
I watch the terror rising as it
leads straight to my angel's slow
and pitiful demise
my nature shines
unbinds
and finds its way into my life
and takes control of things I thought
I've purged with bruise and knife

Suddenly
I see
I am using assets that I've feared in
ways that I have never neared
resulting from how I was reared
I'm scared
not prepared
as I stand before a demon that has taken
all my reason and exists in my emotion
I can't win this time around, I think
my cry is being drowned, I sink
into my other self
nonchallant becomes a frown
I'm down
Hit the ground
I'm surrounded by my parasite it feeds
on pleasures that I try to fight and needs
to find fulfillment, day and night
I am bent
I am spent
There's a dent within my will and I
am melting, my heart spills until it's empty
I take pills, shut the devistation out
let the blood flow from the spout
Heartless moments touching lives as body
whispers seductive lies, destructive
eyes piercing their souls and
wanting more, I'm switching roles
turn it off to block the toll
eyes dull
pounding skull
there's a hole that can't be filled but still
my nature's stubborn will will try
to quench it's thirsty need
and so I bleed
I see
I can't be around them now or else
I'll hinder them somehow and so
I'll choose this time around to try
and keep the hunger down
I lose
I must choose
so I choose to walk away, please
keep a distance from my space
there's nothing here behind this face
let all the memories erase

Please forget about my face and
let the memories erase

07.07.10

Simple kisses flutter by
like butterflies as my mind tries
to simplify the incoherent samples
of distortion in my mind
My innocence is shattered in the
tattered life that I hold near
as tears soak down the clothes I wear
in fear I tremble, my ghosts appear
I bear the memories branded in
my skin and buckle at the weight
Too late, my bones are breaking
There's no faking, as I'm waking,
Fingers raking against my skin
and nails scratching once again
brand new attempts to make amends
it sends a chilling sound bite through
the blue and purple in the sky empties
the feelings deep inside. I sigh and
bleed out tainted blood, a flood
relieves the parts that cry. Empty
embraces sweep the ground and
die as homeless all around, the mounds
of graves I've prepared for them
accept and take the heartless in.