12.17.07

Beautiful Girl–
She walks through the thorn bushes laid out before her.
Her heart keeps her moving, each step brings her forward;
Yet still, there are those
Who grab at her feet.
They claw at her soul;
If only she'd see

That she's more than they'll ever be able to reach,
And her heart can dream bigger; her spirit can sour through the sky–
The turbulent, beautiful, disastrous night.
She can sing a song that threatens the gem of the sirens that sit by the shore.
She wants more.
If she reaches she'll find it,
it's there for her taking.
Just unfold and unwind it,
You're a jewel in the making.

Beautiful Girl–
She's searching for gold in the dry, barren land.
She won't give it up, keeps on digging with hands
That are worn, tore
And calloused with need
Her knees are sore
And slowly they bleed

But she's more than they'll ever be able to reach,
And her heart can dream bigger; her spirit can sour through the sky–
The turbulent, beautiful, disastrous night.
She can sing a song that threatens the gem of the sirens that sit by the shore.
She wants more.
If she reaches she'll find it,
it's there for her taking.
Just unfold and unwind it,
You're a jewel in the making.

I can see, in time,
Aging like wine,
You are so beautiful; please see my side.
Please see yourself through perspectives of mine.

Beautiful Girl–
Jewel of a Girl–
Beautiful Girl–
Lost in the swirl of reality's pain.

Beautiful Girl–
Shake off the world.
Open your heart.
Let your visions unfurl.

Your dreams are in reach,
Right in your hands.
Just close your fist,
Watch your sweet soul expand.

And if you reach out you'll find it,
It's there for your taking.
Just unfold and unwind it,
You're a jewel in the making

Beautiful Girl.

11.27.07

Walled up inside, she walks alone

Cross beaten paths adorned with stone

And bushes reaching out to grab

A traveller who has left her home.

Her face may be decently fair,

But beauty fades each passing layer.

Inside her heart a malice breeds

Yet onlookers are unaware.

Each step she takes across the fields

Of blossoms rich and lovely yields

A gravesite ready to receive

The flowers' corpses who's fates she sealed.

Those who have looked into her eyes

Can see despair brewing inside.

The pools of pain and anger fill

Each nook and cranny in her mind.

Her voice sends chills through those who hear

The words she speaks. With sounds she tears

Through warmth and comfort others own

Till aching silence is all that's there.

11.09.07

[sometimes it takes the opposite to heal a hurting heart]

Baby, wipe away the smile
'cause somewhere buried underneath
I see a pool of lonely tears
Slowly deepening their reach.

Baby, turn your laugh on mute
'cause drowning underneath the waves
I hear a empty, lonely cry
That's been going on for days.

Baby, no you're not alright,
No matter what you're 'bout to say.
Just let me steal your smile and hush your laugh
And in time you'll be ok.

06.03.15

I am a mystery hidden from view
I carry treasures seen only by few
I am a secret with much to unveil
Unknown waters for someone to sail

I have a light that has yet to shine
Softness within like an old, kept wine
Tenderness brewing but yet to release
Gentleness shown in the want to appease

I have a beauty I choose not to flaunt
Now's not the time to stir others' want
I have seduction from others I'll spare
Qualities hidden, so precious and rare

I am a prize that one's yet to win
Wild new land where no one has been
I am a pathway that's yet to be trod
Locked away valuables buried by God

Don't try to discover what's not yours to find
Spare me my heart; take the thoughts from my mind

07.09.11

The burning pixels instigate
painful blindness and headache.
The more I make the worse the day
I play like god on the display
that sits before my dying eyes,
disguising messy in design
I pine to be in other worlds
where distance permits my eyes to rest.
But here I test the limits of
my mental state. I push and shove
the elements before my eyes
and once again I realise
that burning pixels instigate
the painful blindness and headache.
The more I make the worse the day
I play like god on the display
that sits before my dying eyes,
disguising messy in design.

07.08.20

And then
once again
In a fraction of a second
I can see behind the mends
that I have made up in my head.
All is said
So much dread
As I lay there in my bed my mind is
racing through the theories
marking everything in red

I thought this time was different
and I thought I really meant the things
I wanted to achieve but once again
I just deceive
my self
on the shelf
is a dusty book I used to know
but there it lies, it goes to show
my dedication's at a low

And I stare
It's right here
I can see the shadows glaring
through my intricately fabricated
mask that I've been wearing
I was daring
I've been sharing
bearing and comparing
I was wearing non-emotion
but inside I kept on tearing up the
shreads and broken pieces,
Toxins seep into the creases
and they keep me from achieving
and my other side from leaving
I'm bleeding
needing
and feeding of the waste that keeps on
leading me to continue with this
detrimental seeding

As I sit
death grip
I watch the terror rising as it
leads straight to my angel's slow
and pitiful demise
my nature shines
unbinds
and finds its way into my life
and takes control of things I thought
I've purged with bruise and knife

Suddenly
I see
I am using assets that I've feared in
ways that I have never neared
resulting from how I was reared
I'm scared
not prepared
as I stand before a demon that has taken
all my reason and exists in my emotion
I can't win this time around, I think
my cry is being drowned, I sink
into my other self
nonchallant becomes a frown
I'm down
Hit the ground
I'm surrounded by my parasite it feeds
on pleasures that I try to fight and needs
to find fulfillment, day and night
I am bent
I am spent
There's a dent within my will and I
am melting, my heart spills until it's empty
I take pills, shut the devistation out
let the blood flow from the spout
Heartless moments touching lives as body
whispers seductive lies, destructive
eyes piercing their souls and
wanting more, I'm switching roles
turn it off to block the toll
eyes dull
pounding skull
there's a hole that can't be filled but still
my nature's stubborn will will try
to quench it's thirsty need
and so I bleed
I see
I can't be around them now or else
I'll hinder them somehow and so
I'll choose this time around to try
and keep the hunger down
I lose
I must choose
so I choose to walk away, please
keep a distance from my space
there's nothing here behind this face
let all the memories erase

Please forget about my face and
let the memories erase

07.07.10

Simple kisses flutter by
like butterflies as my mind tries
to simplify the incoherent samples
of distortion in my mind
My innocence is shattered in the
tattered life that I hold near
as tears soak down the clothes I wear
in fear I tremble, my ghosts appear
I bear the memories branded in
my skin and buckle at the weight
Too late, my bones are breaking
There's no faking, as I'm waking,
Fingers raking against my skin
and nails scratching once again
brand new attempts to make amends
it sends a chilling sound bite through
the blue and purple in the sky empties
the feelings deep inside. I sigh and
bleed out tainted blood, a flood
relieves the parts that cry. Empty
embraces sweep the ground and
die as homeless all around, the mounds
of graves I've prepared for them
accept and take the heartless in.

07.02.26

There is a girl
Aimed for the world, but is falling
She played it tough, not into that glamour and doll thing
She set her sights high above lines others were drawing
But in reality her fantasy is choking and dying
In actuality, she just tries to keep from hurting and crying

She plays it tough
But life is rough and they seem distant
Between the lines, she hears the tones and reads the harsh hints
Although it plagues her in her mind forever she refuses to be bent
But the constant struggle to survive just leaves her more and more spent
The endless battle with herself seems like there'll never be an end

And so she needs to turn to something to release the endless tension
She cannot stand to constantly be stuck in a suspension
No hand in hand, she rather keep it from her friend's attention
So there's no mention, she's fenced in, her engine's about to blow

She'll turn to something: Cutting
It just works way to well
To kill the endless emotions that are creating this hell
And just a few cuts numb the pain and gain her some perspective
She loves the way it kills her heart and makes all things objective

She'll turn to something: Drinking
It's aims to make her forget
The craziness that drowns her thoughts and ties her in a net
And even twisting off that bottle top and taking a few sips
Forces her brain to back off a bit as the drink touches her lips

She'll turn to something: Running
It keeps the problem far
Creating distance through the mileage, the people, the guitar
And as long as all's together she can run for ever and ever
She'll just fight to keep away since the problem can't be severed

There is a girl
Ever so precious, but she can't see
The reality of value that's attached to her eternally
No matter who will tell her that it's true, she just cannot believe
They killed it early in her heart leaving an emotional amputee

She'll turn to something: Ending
She's scared but that's what's there
She's bottled up the pain so long she can't even begin to share
The difficulty of herself and how she's her own enemy
She wants so hard to have the faith to turn to the true diety
But blinded by the damage done and passed by others endlessly
She cannot stop her own self-hate before it takes control
They keep on handing her advice but her brain's already full
The brilliant red she hides inside will color all things dull
And mulling over things before, she dissapears once more
And giving up on things she swore, she dissapears once more