10.1.08

Walk out the fire and my skin is burnt on me
Smell the stench, see the sores, worse than 3rd degree
As it cracks and it peels and it falls to the floor
My resolve, it just builds. I am looking for more

Standing under cascades of an angry flow
I am bruised and I'm beat, but I will not slow
As the water comes down, hugging curves, roaring sound
Yelling out my resolve, let it ring and resound

Let the delicate drops merge into a great tide
Let them gather around and march forth by my side
May they brush round my heart and awaken my soul
May they pour me my part and erase all that's dull

I will watch as my shackles erode in the stream
As I take step by step towards that which redeems
Now I fall to my knees as the coal meets my lips
And my body, it aches, with each tear my eyes drip

I am physically weak but my spirit, it flies
Now I watch as my inhibitions meet their demise
I will cry over loss that I'm destined to face
I will never forgot of this point and this place

I will bear all the pain caused by actions I take
I will own all the tears when at night I'm awake
And it hurts in my bones from this thorn in my side
But I look all around, whisper all my goodbyes

7.27.08

Prove me right to ease your pain.
Then only one will be insane.
And one will off to better things.
Shed the shackles, cut the strings.
Let yourself be free to roam.
I can manage on my own.
Vagabond and wanderer–
Someday I must confront her.
Someday I will fight the fight.
Win to live, or die that night.
Lose my soul to dark within
Or keep it just to pine for him.
Pain or pain I'm forced to choose.
Either way I'll always lose.
So prove me right, avoid the price.
Do not watch me bruise and slice.
Do not make me see the fact
That maybe some will sign the pact,
That maybe some will up and act
And maybe keep a piece in tact.
Do not make me commit too
Because you care and so you choose
To walk along the desperate road
Though all the trails grow ever old.
If truth is there amidst your hope,
Then I must stand, no longer grope.
Then I must walk or maybe crawl
Rather than lie there, ignoring all.
Then I must actually try
To walk uphill and fight the fight.
Then I must see that some can care
And gain the strength to take the dare.
If you believe in what I can't,
And offer up a constant hand,
Then I am obligated to
Hold on to life, try to improve.
But if you stay you'll bear my hurt.
You'll wallow with me in the dirt.
I'll watch you bleed with teary eyes.
And hold you close at night and cry.
I'll see the love within your gaze
And wish a limit on my days.
I'll want to free you from my hold
So you won't see my life unfold.
So prove me right and ease your pain.
So I am free to go insane.
So I can slowly find demise,
Forget that look within your eyes.
Forget the safety of your smile
When you just sit with me a while.
Forget the comfort of your arms
That ease the shriek of mind's alarm.
Forget the fun and simple joys
At times we shed the need for poise.
So prove me right and ease your pain–
For my great loss is your great gain.

7.26.08

Who wouldn't laugh if they were stuck in this same old hellish trap
Where you've lost your map and your mind is stuck in the same old mental crap.
And the more you try is the more you die and the more you're ready to,
And the more you die is the more you lie to those wanting a false view.

There's nothing new about the craze that streaks like drugs right through your veins.
Seems there are few who know the shock that hits when you intensify the pain.
And it's all the same, It all comes raining down like nothing ever changed.
And everything that was in place has now been rearranged.

It seems so old and childish, something that you shouldn't have to face
And all the time you spend on dealing with it seems to go to waste.
Just a taste of fresh air would help me temporarily escape
From this desperate and detrimental, hated torment of a place.

Please erase me now.
I've tasted how
I just can't run,
So point the gun.
Just let it go
I'll take the blow
And all will be
As if it's free.
The blood will flow
New things will grow
and I'll be gone
The dark has won
My heart will die
Just one last sigh
Fall to the tile
End in a smile.

2.14.08

Trapped inside within the walls
Attempts to leave, but they're too tall
Whispering loud, since voice is hoarse
Swirling inside–regret, remorse

Attempts to capture other's eyes
To show them truth behind the cries
Longing for once for them to see
The genuine nature of the disease

Yet understanding falls so short
And always wrong is the report
And through it all the words are lost
And one begins to weigh the cost

The damage done through loosened tongue
Quickly begins to spread among
The ones who's ears have captured thoughts
Which should've stayed hind lips kept taut

The truth begins to fall in reach
That others should not ever breech
The walls which stand and are closing off
The ever dark and painful thoughts